I DON’T like to talk in generalisations or put people in little boxes, but in my experience women often want you to do things they don’t. Take my wife, for example. She’s always saying things like: ‘Taste this, I think it’s off.’ Before I’ve even had time to protest she’s shoved the offending food scrap … Continue reading »
Latest Entries
Mice in the house
I HAVE a complex relationship with mice. They repulse me and, at the same time, make me want to talk in that voice usually reserved for babies: ‘Oh, look at da little mousey. Aren’t you cute? Yes you are, yes you are.’ At the moment though they’re in my pantry and every day … Continue reading »
Be brave, come on down
THE SS Coalition has hit an iceberg (in the shape of Frankston MP Geoff Shaw) and the crew is now manning the lifeboats. The Captain, Ted Baillieu, has dived overboard. I swear I can hear the sound of crunching metal, rushing seawater and Celene Dion warbling every time I see a state government polly on the news … Continue reading »
The road less travelled
THE American poet Robert Frost took the “road less travelled,” believing it “made all the difference”. I’m of the same mind. Sometimes you’re thrust on to the road less travelled by unforeseen circumstances, wrong turns or bad directions. However it happens, it’s worth the journey. Last weekend I planned to take my caravan to Tidal … Continue reading »
Stepping from the shadow
MY oldest son is 13 years old and he’s underwhelmed by everything. Armageddon could come to pass – with the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse setting the world on fire and God personally executing every sinner live on TV, including close members of our immediate family – and he would likely yawn and say: … Continue reading »
Surprise, surprise
IN many ways I’m a blokey sort of bloke. I like sport, I like beer and I like bare knuckle fights (as long as I’m not personally involved). But – and this hurts me to confess – I’m not at all mechanically minded. You’d have as much luck teaching a dog to quote Shakespeare … Continue reading »
Nudealoneism
I HAVE a confession to make and it may not be something you want to hear. I like to nude up. When I see a streaker at the cricket or footy, I say: ‘Well, done. Good work.’ When I see a naked person on the beach, I say: ‘Top stuff, but please slip, slop, … Continue reading »
